Do you ever feel defeated? I don’t often feel that way, but every so often the thought of potential defeat pops in to the mind. If this sounds arrogant, read my profile and catch up.
Life is full of uncertainties. I have days (hours sometimes) when I feel on top of my game, enjoying the challenges that come and go, day in, minute out. If life was easy, it would probably be boring. Any idiot can live an easy life. I like the challenge. Give me something impossible and I’ll show you how to make it work. At a profit. Twice. Give me something easy and I’ll get it done. At the last possible minute. If I have to. Why do you think I can solve an intricate staffing problem but I can’t get the housework done. If I could make housework life and death it would be done before you are out of bed.
A supermodel once famously said “I don’t get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day”. It’s almost like I need crisis to get out of bed. Thank God I have deadlines. Without those I’d be comatose. In my favourite novels (I’ll share them with you another time) there is a phrase that goes something like “how do you hurt a man who has lost everything? Give him back something broken”. Like hell. Give me back something ruined and I’ll turn it in to ice cream, and you’ll like it.
If only I could infect those around me with the feelings of satisfaction, of achievement, that I get from being good at what I do. If only they could feel the pleasure I feel. If only I had the power to make the changes I would really make … if I could.
These things will have to wait for another day, when I am feeling more positive and have had less red wine to drink. What is important is that I am here.
Over time the darkness in my posts will come and go. I hope to exorcise my darkness here….I hope it brings you pleasure.